Populating Loserville...

So it's past 1am on a Saturday night and I'm lying in bed thinking. My husband is working an overnight shift and when he does, I usually struggle to get to sleep. What I end up doing is thinking...oh how dangerous thinking can be. Last night it was about Christmas, tonight it's about being a loner. I'm not very consistent, and much prefer thinking about my favorite holiday.

What I got to thinking about can be summed up in one sentence. Where did everybody go? Have you ever just looked around and sort of noticed that your friends are gone? Maybe not, it's a depressing and just to add to my lonerish state, probably not as common as I could hope for in this moment. Today, I realized that I've lost everyone. All my old friends... high school friends, college friends, work friends...they've just disappeared even though many of the clicks within those groups have remained close. I've also realized that I'm the only one who ever reconnects with any friends on facebook just to keep up appearances. I'm afraid that if I stop checking in with people, that no one will check in with me. My depressing little story concludes with a shoe party. I attempted to throw a shoe party and invited lots of girls, in which over ten rsvped yes. One girl showed up to my "party". One girl. Like seriously, loser of the year right here. *I can hear the world's smallest violin playing for me...wah wah wah *

But without crying a river, I wanted to look at this objectively. How did I become such a loner? I know I am a mom now and more of a hermit than I ever was but that shouldn't leave me friendless. As a young mom, most of my friends don't have children and aren't at the same stage of life as me. I've been told than I can intimidate childless friends and that saddens me. I've met a couple of mommy friends but those friendships didn't work out as I ran into some users and other women who I just didnt click with.

So, are my standards of a friend too high? Am I just not fun to be around? Will I ever have a best friend again? This whole thing has really got me thinking. And perhaps I should stop trying with people who don't try in return. I'm just curious when friends will come around?

I'm not wallowing...yet... and I'm not looking for sympathy but I chose to put this post up in hopes that another mom who is feeling the same way, who is just as confused, will know she is not the only one. It is not uncommon to watch friendships change as you become a parent. Sometimes you have to wait for your friends to play catch up ... sometimes you have look outside your circle...

Being Thankful

As hard as it is to believe, Thanksgiving is this weekend. I'm still in shock that it's even fall but really look forward to the special events and holidays the end of the year has in store. My excitement for Christmas is really too funny. I shop and plan months in advance because it is my favorite time to try and make everyone smile and show them how much I love them with thoughtfulness and surprises. I also really enjoy Thanksgiving because I find it to be one of the purest holidays that doesn't revolve around gifts and money, but just family and a wonderful dinner.

This year, we're going away to Craig's Aunt and Uncle's for Thanksgiving and Christmas too, which is really exciting for us. In our minds, they are like another set of parents and we love them very much! They live about four hours away so we don't get to see them as often as we would like but feel very lucky that we're able to spend such special holidays with them. I'm definately thankful that we have them in our lives...they are both such wonderful, caring people.

There are so many reasons to be thankful, and here is what I am thankful for:

First of all, I am thankful that the turkey I am eating on Thanksgivng won't be looking like the one above. And in all seriousness, I am thankful for family. I am so grateful for our new little family and am completely in love with my two boys! I am thankful for my mom and to have her support through anything and everything. And define it as you will but this year I've come to realize that family can be more than the typical definition of being related by blood. People who are there for you, love and support you in the long term...that's family.

So what are you thankful for??